I'm sorry you're going through this. I don’t know about you, but I always had to “Be right.” I had to “be right” in every argument we ever had in our marriage, and I had to do/say what I could to make him realize that I was right. It was my fault. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If that ego blocks anything that he has to tell you, it will take THAT much longer to get where you really want to be. Don't slow down to talk about, just do it. Your email address will not be published. Honestly, I’ve done all that, that is view things from his perspective taking into consideration how stressed he is with work. Good luck. Well I’m not saying you shouldn’t do those things. I know it's easy for me to say to you that you should and you must leave him cause I'm not in the situation but please, please think about your future. But when we’ve been in the middle of an argument, or have been through a rough patch, and have tried to have conversation… texting has caused more damage than good. I hope he is not the one that has custody of them, if he is and you leave then he will not have a choice but to stay home and grow up. Because again, you can’t make anyone do anything, and you can’t keep them from themselves. My father passed away last March and in his will he left me his home in another part of the country. I'm sure their mother will take care of them. I have cried, told his parents, asked for advice from friends, talked to him in a good way but he keeps on doing this. Are they lying about monogamy to multiple partners… So when he comes I don’t say anything and if her tries to tell me,I say am not interested.its all fine I get mad sometimes and I say silently ,”F him” he doesn’t deserve even a drop of my tears, he is ruining us and himself consciously so let him deal with his sh*t. I know he’s struggling but I can’t keep up much longer. What does it mean when your boyfriend goes out and doesn't come home until the next day? For YEARS, I’ve wanted to “fix” him. And yes WE are pregnant, but I made to choice to be this child's vessel (eg not adopting) and if I do it its at risk to My daughter. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m definitely not a marriage therapist, but I do love sharing what has worked in our marriage and what hasn’t, in hopes that it can help others. But you can fix YOU. Sometimes I think he’s trying to sabotage himself and doing this on purpose, not because he want to be alone, because want to be a victim and punish himself. I have proof on my dash cam. After telling I have worked on myself he had not worked on himself. I am blown away how long has he really been cheating.He wants to come home but doesn’t think that O can really FORGIVE him. I get no help around the house. without respect, a relationship is not fighting for. After writing my post 5 Simple Ways to Make Your Husband Want to Come Home, I’ve found so many readers stumbling upon it, looking for ways to encourage their husbands to come back home when they’ve left… after an argument. I don't think you should expect yourself to handle this or help him by yourself. However he’s rarely there. Facebook. I got his sister involved and let me emotions get the best of me. After reading those first few tips, I can hear some of you saying, “Crap. “Instead of demeaning your partner’s feelings, seek to understand why they feel or believe what they do. Now let's say, still hypothetically, you go out once a month, and have an excellent track record of coming home when you say you're going to be home, but JUST ONCE, you're 30 minutes late. and this is a cycle you are going to have to break, for your own sanity if nothing else.He is not going to change on his own , Why should he. You shouldn't have to deal with that. i did whathe does to me to show him ho wit feels. Stop telling me about how your partner doesn’t contribute as much as you’d like to the household chores. Look, I totally get it. Sorry to say this but he is soooooo irresponsible!!! i think you need to talk to him when he is in his sense.... i know how it feels, its really unfair for you too. #5 Problem: He doesn’t care about your problems. If my other half was doing this, I would try to help him. He let me know he would be gone for three and would be back Sunday. Does it affect his children? as his ex wife no way she is ten times worse then him that is why we have custody of the kids not her. then casually walk in at 4am and or not until will into the following afternoon…let’s be real ladies if you’re man is not home during sleeping hours, claims its work but you can’t get even a text back he is okay – then there is only two things that is happening during the late hours/ early morning…sleeping or sleeping around. things have been a little rough since the arrival of our little one but our love remains strong and this is out of character. Is this the same guy that mentally and physically abuses you? After moving past assuming that it’s you being the problem, take a look through his eyes. iI had to have surgery. Maybe you can get other family members that love him to help you. He really needs to see what he is doing to his family though. 5 Simple Ways to Make Your Husband Want to Come Home. Perhaps it’s because I struggled with this one so much. I just hope I haven’t ruined my marriage cuz I involved his sister who made is all 1000x worse. He took my words. Questioning everything can that’s going on can help you have a better understanding of what may be going on. The real issue then may never come up, or other damage will be done before even getting to the current issue. He got the little blue pills but doesn’t … Oh Priscilla, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time. So get busy. Am not leaving him bcoz we got 2 kids and am a house wife currently and he provides everything. And he comes home later than he said, every time, with a barrage of excuses. well i hurt it pretty good. I’m going to just sit back and give him his space cuz I know he has always done that for me…let me go out with friends etc. 0 0. This post may contain affiliate links. This is my forth year of marriage.My husband will go to work on Friday and come back on Tuesday dressed in same dirty clothes, he tells me he has been in bars drinking all those days like am a fool to believe that. Is there something that he’s briefly mentioned that could be the cause of him not wanting to come home? I know you love him and his kids but how about you and your future?!?!?!? It's hard when we try to talk to someone and make them realize how destructive their behaviour is and they just can't see it or choose not to see it. I have always felt that they would blame me for everything when I know that is not the case. I’m so glad that you found this helpful and I truly do hope you find some peace through this time. I pray to God to do whatever He wants with him, coz am tired praying for him to change. Updates: +1 y. I’m talking about the times that he is temporarily staying somewhere else, expressing that he just needs some time away, and/or you’ve noticed that he’s been avoiding coming/staying at home with you and perhaps your family. I shouldn’t have texted him.” Please, please don’t take it this way. For the past month, everytime my husband goes to work, (chef in restuarant) he doesn't come home till the nxt day. I do not know what to tell you. so i was getting very frustrated that i was helpless i couldnt do anything for myself and i couldnt take care of my husband or even my 2 toddlers. He’s never stayed overnight away from home. It is a shame that you are close to his kids, but you need to think about yourself and your own children rather than his. Words can be turned around in ways that you or he, never intended. It was always, “He’s wrong. So only my opinion but he does have the right (he's becoming a father not a robot, he still has freedom of choice) to have a drink and go out and enjoy him self. We are married for 15 years. Why would you let yourself suffer for the things he's doing?!?!!? Again, I’m no therapist, but rather someone that’s learning through life as I go. I would have the support of his family, though, so it is easier for me to sit back and say that. The last time he did it , I packed up all his clothes for him and put them in one of our cars outside and when I spoke to him , I told him he could pick up his stuff whenever he felt like it but that I didn't think it would work between us anymore . Occupancy rights allow you to stay in the home even if your partner wants you to leave. Amen sisters. I don’t mean question him with everything. I’ve tried being tough With him and didn’t talk to him, I’ve tried being ignorant, same outcome… my fault! my partner was out at a corporate football all day drinking session yesterday and is not home! But I really, really, encourage you to tell your emotions to shut the heck up, so you can think for a minute. He shuts off his phone after I an hour of me calling. Cut your loses and move on. Our 4 kids are suffering too which makes this worse cuz he will not talk to me. i know its painful for you because you still love him & you learned to love his kids too. I would not believe he was with just friends, I would think he's having an affair. Now, since that post is really geared towards ways to show your husband “love,” to make them excited to come back home at the end of the day, I’ve wanted to create this post for those looking for help that may be going through a tough situation with their husband at this very moment. he will ignore me. So am here to stay. Inhave spoken with a kady that he been talking to on the phone and seeing. If he does not have custody of the children, take you and your children out of this enviornment immediately. So assuming that it’s you can cause unnecessary wear and tear on yourself. i dont know and im so lost and confused. Tell him if he can not be bothered to come home sober and in a timely fashion, he should live somewhere else. A reliable partner won't ignore your texts, go without talking to you for days or leave you wondering if they'll show up, let alone have your back. and he hasnt been back since. i had hurt my knee. It could even be that he is loving and attentive in other aspects of your marriage, but doesn’t give much attention or thought to your personal or family problems. take out a loan against the property without your consent. but, you also have to think of your self. Follow. Hi, I'm Jessica! He does this a couple times a week and I wouldn't hear from him all night. He needs to open up to you instead of a bottle. I don’t gossip or seek advice from people about him, am tired furthermore he is a dad to my kids I don’t want to tarnish his name Maybe you can tell him what their point of view is. Ready for this, and to think even deeper??? After 2 months I told him to come home he gave me all these reasons why he did not think it was time. If he refuses to talk, and you have time-sensitive questions that need answers, keep your text short, clear as can be, and to the point. I have low so confidence. My husband has just recently started staying out all night. you have to leave him because it seems like he really doesnt care for you at all. he needs to learn the hard way as the easy way is not working for you. He doesn’t call or text and ignores me when I call or text. It was all me. but then i wont hear anything else from him so then i get upset and frustrated and angry. 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